"In the earliest days, when men cowered in darkness before the despot Reagan, the gods in their infinite wisdom created hardcore punk. "Let there be fast, monotonous rhythms," they spake. "Yea, let no man violate the impenetrable wall of guitar." And so it was, and men rejoiced. But a tribe of blasphemers and heretics defied the holy order. With unspeakable names like Nomeansno and the Butthole Surfers, they perverted hardcore with bizarre rhythmic changes and melodies that bespeak a deep spiritual corruption.